Selected Gay Nursery Rhymes
Louie Crew

Humpty Rumpty sat in the tub.
Humpty Rumpty had a hot rub.
All the Quean’s lovers
and all the Quean’s kin
semened poor Rumpty together again.
Three bland hets. Three bland hets.
See how they screw. See how they screw.
They got in a race with their landlord’s maid.
She cut off their dicks with her steel switchblade.
There never was noisier notice made
of three bland hets.

Little Quean Roughie
sat on his toughie
polishing his leather ring.
Along came a sister.
He zipped up and hissed her,
but she cared not a fig for his thing.
Smelly Tommy Fisher stood by the tearoom
waiting there with his dime.
Not one well-wisher gave her a seabloom,
nor took her explosion in time.
This little faggot burned witches.
This little faggot hanged.
This little faggot got twitches.
This little faggot pained.
And this little faggot cried:
“I’m gonna get you, heterofuckers!”
Fickle Florry
Fickle Florry frugally finger-figged
a floozy feline flue,
a floozy feline flue fickle Florry figged.

Jack and Bill went up the hill,
but not to fetch a thing.
Jack fell down,
throwing Jill his crown:
with Bill who needs to be king?

This is the poker
and this the hole.
Together they make
one key to the soul.

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