i marvel at your quiff
Delphine Lecompte

don’t love me,despise me,pour your hatred all over me,it fuels me,seriously,this is a request,well sod the lot of you!and you think you know me,but you know fuck all,and no i’m not dropping my compulsive comma use,and i can’t be arsed to capitalise letters and such,and can we stop talking about writing,cos it’s boring me pants off,i’d rather talk about prostitution,but i don’t suppose any of you are familiar with the actual act of rendering your body to a vicious john who will shove rodents up your arse,in exchange for money?thought so...any johns about?good.can i suck yer cocks?i’ll do it for free if you give me an autographed copy of your supposedly controversial debut novel.i won’t read it,can’t be bothered,i’m hungover today,and if i’m not hungover i'm drunk,ok i’ll read it when i’m drunk,i’m sure it’s a work of heart-staggering genius,but still i’d rather read the sleeve notes of any random totally obscure indie album,is that ok?or are we gonna start a brawl?i want to pick a fight,i want to offend you,i can offend you,i can offend anyone cos i don’t need anyone,bar morrissey,i don’t really care if or when you leave the room cos everything i need is right at hand:my oasis cds,my scalpel,my stuffed seagull,the booze,my morrissey pic to wank over and maff’s suicide note to scoff at;and if ever this shouldn’t suffice,then i can always jump through the window cos i’m living in an attic room and i don’t find that any bit romantic at all,and if—however doubtful—i would lack the guts to jump,then i can always call one of my vindictive junkie scum friends to give me a firm push,or else i’ll just move in with my seventy year old sleazy neighbour and he’ll lick me inside out tirelessly but he won’t let me listen to the smiths and he won’t let me go near any boners,no more boners=a depressing thought,but there’ll be lots of wine and it’ll make me horny and i’ll hump his tacky couch and i don’t ever want to write another daft story anymore and i don’t want to befriend nicky wire,but oh all this denying myself will be so hard to keep up,so i’ll end up jumping through my sleazy neighbour’s window,but since he lives on second floor,i’ll go through life a cripple,and no one wants to shag a cripple minger,so basically i’m stuck in the attic.

i'm not stuck for fuck’s sake,don’t put words in my mouth,i’m flowing,i’m streaming,i’m spurting,literally damnit,do you really think i’d use such cheap metaphors or whatever you call them these days?! i cut myself,i’m a bit worried,it does bleed quite heavily,i’m just gonna press this cushion on the wound and hopefully i’ll have finished this miniature masterpiece before i bleed to death,yeah,i’m ok now,oh have i told you what i did this morning?it’s quite outrageous:i went to the supermarket to stack gorgeous rows of immaculate milk bottles,but before i stacked them i injected them with some arsenic,that’ll teach them!! no,seriously,i did not do such a thing,though i was tempted,but ach then i thought about prison and it does seem rather bleak,i know cos i saw it when i visited my short-tempered ex-boxer patrick,sure the loony bin was no holiday (i beg to differ) but at least there was cock;look,this may sound sexist and what not,but i’d rather get brutally arsefucked by kinky night nurses than being molested by fat ignorant dykes with reptile eyes and jelly thighs,each to his own,i say,but i’m digressing...where was i?the supermarket,i was at the supermarket,i don’t suppose any of you corporate pigs are familiar with stacking milk bottles from 5 am to....well what suits them best,at a dreary flemish supermarket under relentless neon lights,watched by cameras,perverted customers and them bloody corporate swines,so many of them,and they all speak some language that i can’t understand but it sounds an awful lot like german,arbeit macht frei,but oh as much as i hate the supermarket,it does cleanse my soul,yes i know how pompous that sounds,shut your gob! STACKING MILK BOTTLES CLEANSES MY SOUL,there you go,loud and clear,i don’t sit on a chair,i sit on my knees,sucking cock,stacking milk bottles and praying to my idols.

Delphine



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